Strawberryland Forum

I guess this is what happens after a typical Black Ops multiplayer session:

Toshiba Satellite C655D-S5139 by cpd2005, on Flickr

On March 17th, Wendell arrived at my home. He is my new laptop computer, a Toshiba Satellite C655-S5139. Wendell replaces Chrysanthemum, my old Gateway laptop. She hasn't aged well, and her graphics processor has become very glitchy and erratic, causing system crashes and freezes. Wendell has Windows 7 Home Premium, a 1.6ghz AMD E-350 DualCore processor, 250gb hard drive, AMD Radeon HD 6310 graphics, and 3gb of RAM. Despite a few reviews on RadioShack's website saying this computer is slow, I think otherwise. It performs great for a sub $500 laptop, and I haven't experienced any slowdowns that would render the computer unusable.

Yo dawg, I hear you liek bunnies, so here's Harry watching Harry watching Harry!

Going for a computer related topic, I have a question for Grapes. I noticed from the "Web Browser" thread that you use a Mac. What do you think about Microsoft Windows computers?

I think both Macs and Windows based computers are great, and don't think one is better than the other. They each have great applications and they are both user friendly. However, I am biased towards using Windows as I have been using it for most of my life. I have used Macs before, during the mid to late 1990s as the local school was still using old LC-II computers, and even some vintage Apple IIs. My family got our first internet capable computer in 1999 from Gateway, which had Windows 98, and since then, it's been mainly Windows for me.

I have had experience with the current Mac OS-X thanks to Dakota State University. I admit, the dock at first was somewhat disorienting as the launcher button is also the active program button as well, but as Windows 7 has a very similar taskbar setup, I probably would be able to use it well if I happen to use Mac OS-X again. Wendell was originally going to be a MacBook, but since I wanted a new laptop rather quickly I ended up buying my Toshiba Satellite with Windows 7.

Perhaps if I need a new desktop computer someday, maybe I will save up for a Mac.

May 28 will be my biggest day...

cpd2009 Wrote:Perhaps if I need a new desktop computer someday, maybe I will save up for a Mac.

Here's a thought: Let Lily be a Mac Mini. They're the cheapest of Macs.

Just tried on experimenting with an old Windows game on Wine; it does work fine, apparently:

I have now gotten to meet my niece, and hold her. My niece is physically stunning and [strike]very[/strike] berry alert, more alert than most premature babies. She is so focused, so intently focused. This is quite a contrast to her baby cousins, including her boy cousin, who were all drowsy when younger. She is as quiet as they were, for now, but she is usually awake.

Interestingly, Ben says this about much of his childhood,

Quote:"I was usually in The Daze. What is The Daze, you ask? The Daze is not fun. You can't affect what is going on, you can't think straight, and you're just there."

His daughter is the opposite of this. The wheels in her head are turning and they focus on what is in front of her. I was wearing a shirt with words printed on it when I visited her, and she stared intently at my eyes and the contrast on my shirt. My own babies didn't do this until they were months and months older than she is, and they still don't exactly stare that way. In these respects, my children are more like Ben (was) and Ben's child is more like I (was and somewhat still am).

Don't misunderstand. I don't doubt that my babies think a great deal. I think my niece's intense observations seem more intense than they are because of her eyes, which are such a combination of her parents in color and a combination of both mine and her mother's in shape. (Part of this may change, as babies' eyes are prone to color changing, especially if born blue, though I don't think the color will change much seeing as she was born to two blue-eyed parents.)


Ben was right about something, I'm sure. ;) He said, "I'll need to buy a gun to keep boys away." Whether he was joking or not... is unknown. Oh, and his daughter is clearly a pale blonde for now. [strike]Her hair looks like dandruff at the moment.[/strike] Both of the twins were born with black hair, and their hair fell out and was replaced with dark blonde for one and more black hair for the other. I am so curious as to what my children will think of their cousin!

2:05 AM. Hitting the sack now. Long day ahead tomorrow. And for the following two weeks.

Parents are weird. Parents in general are weird. I'm not talking about the new parents in my life and I don't think I'm talking about James and I as parents. Parents in general are weird because so many of them think, and probably all of them think at some points, "If only my child(ren) were more ____________."

"If only he were more masculine."
"If only she were more feminine."
"If only he were more athletic."
"If only she were less clumsy."
"If only he were better at reading."
"If only she were better at math."
"If only, if only, if only... "

When you get into special needs territory, it becomes even more controversial.

"If only she could walk properly."
"If only he understood social cues."
"If only she were smarter."
"If only he wasn't disabled. This isn't the child I wanted."
"If only we weren't shamed by their existences! Pity us! If only!"

The genders and examples were random, just the first things I thought of that I hear parents say. I do think that all parents feel some of these things sometimes. That doesn't mean our whole lives have to revolve around trying to change individuality. As an example, say you are an athletic father whose son isn't athletic. So what? Your son could be a scholar, an artist, a technician, and many other things. Just because your son isn't like you and you won't have the life you envisioned with him does not mean that your son is not a wonderful valuable person in his own right. He isn't you. His life isn't about repeating your life. He does want your support in finding his own place in the world.

As for parents of disabled children, honestly, so many need to stop pitying themselves. I'm tired of people complaining about how impossible their children are when they are not impossible in the least. They have strengths. Every student in my class has humor and wit. They're all very sweet underneath everything. I hear parents complain and complain about things that are no big deal. By all means, help your children become the best they can be, but don't forget to appreciate how amazing they already are.

I cannot fathom the mindsets of my adopted children's biological parents. How can you give up a child for not meeting your definition of normal? That is so cruel and my goodness, both are more normal than most any disabled children are. Nita was given up by people who assumed any extra chromosome ensured retardation - and was adopted by a woman with the same repeated chromosome. Jimmy Junior was given up by people who were embarrassed over physical imperfection - and was adopted by a man with different physical imperfections. (You know, I bet there are people shallow enough to give up children for being fat.)

Most likely, if pressured by different cultures, many of the American parents I know would give up their children as well. Why? Why? Why? Helping is one thing. Attempting to alter personality is reckless, but in many cases forgivable. Never wanting to see your child again is on a whole different level and I can't understand it at all. "This is not the child I wanted," in any circumstances, should not be said. It should not be thought. No matter what the reason, it shouldn't be thought. I hate that so many people feel like they need to mourn the loss of a child that never existed while damaging the confidence of the children they have, for whatever reason be it "wrong" genders or disabilities or even personalities. Their children are alive. They need love. It is very disrespectful to parents that have actually lost children for pity-seekers to mourn a child that never was while harming the emotional well-being of a living child who only wants his or her parents' love and acceptance.

Parents are weird. Some are worse than weird. Some parents would be better suited with dolls than children. I remember thinking many times that it would be so nice to have a daughter to which I could be the kind mother I never had to - and then realizing that this daughter I was imagining was simply my younger self. When James was still my fiancé, he once reminded me of those feelings by telling me we were going to have "little Prudences". It seems like, in ways, he was right and we did. I am lucky. But they are also individuals and I love all my children evenly and I know that would be the same no matter what.

I never... assumed I would have perfect children. James didn't, either. James assumed he would have imperfect talented children. I didn't know what I assumed. My fantasy was simply a fantasy, not anything I thought would happen with an actual person. I carried out that fantasy with dolls [strike]who didn't love me back like people do[/strike], but I was... quite afraid of my genes for a very long time and that held me back for a long time. I could have married others and had different children long ago. I did not, out of fear (and out of knowing it wasn't time yet). Most parents assume their kids will be normal. I never had that luxury. Of course, everything worked out for the best. :)

I think I told you this before, when I was pregnant, but I'll tell you it again. James mentioned meeting some guy who said, "All my kids will be perfect because I am perfect!" This guy was completely serious. I asked James how he responded. "I laughed," James said.

~~~

I will end on a lighter note. Ben made up a rhyming piece in response to my singing yesterday.

Quote:Please do not sing again
You are a nice Prudie
You've been so good to me
But if you sing again,
I swear to the Lord,
Sis, I will have to
Duct
Tape
Your
Mouth
Shut

So I sang again and he didn't duct tape my mouth shut. This might be because there was no duct tape around.

Today, I've had his ditty in my head off and on throughout the day.