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The Spam Thread!
Alright...this is going to be a rather long post.

In a isn't working out for me this time. More specifically, DSU, the college I'm currently attending.

The first four years I was here, from 2006 through 2010, I loved DSU. I had a nice dorm room and I got along with basically anyone I met. I rarely had issues, and when I did, I had them sorted out in no time and I was back on my way. In 2010 though, my grades were starting to fall, and I decided to spend one year back home at a community college on the reservation, known as "Sinte Gleska University". (Sinte Gleska is "Spotted Tail" in Lakota language). I went there, got a one year computer maintenance certificate, and it was really nice to be back home for nearly a year instead of just three months during the summer. After my grades went up, I decided to return to DSU. I was hoping it would be smooth sailing as it was in the past. Sadly, that hasn't been the case this time around.

First off, my dorm. I don't have any form of rental assistance set up at this point, meaning I have to stay in the dorm while I attend DSU. If I got placed in my old dorm I would have been fine for the most part. However, I ended up registering so late last semester that I ended up in a completely different dorm, an all-male dorm to be exact. So, alright. I guess I could live in an all-male dorm. Here is where the problems started. I got placed in a room that was right outside the floor lobby. Because the doors in this dorm aren't soundproofed in any way, I was able to constantly hear the students who would gather outside in the lobby to play their "Madden" football games or other sports games on their PS3's or Xbox 360 consoles, or watch movies. On top of that, these students end up talking about the most repulsive things that I won't even mention in this thread. Every. Single. Night. They just talked and talked and talked even after "quiet hours" were supposed to kick in. That means I couldn't watch my own TV, nor play my own video games in peace. Sure, there was Lilly, and I have a set of headphones that helped drown out the noise a tad, but after awhile, the internet gets boring after checking Facebook and other sites to death. I also didn't have a DVD drive at the time either, so I couldn't watch my own DVD collection. On the upside, I did discover MLP:FIM and I watched the entire first season and the first half of the second.

On top of the noise, these other students were trying to make friends with me, even though I did not agree with their lifestyle. I'm like Fluttershy sometimes...Im afraid to stand up for myself because Im afraid about what would happen next. I was afraid these students would start picking on me if I rejected their friendship, or worse. Thus, I just played along with them and said "Hi" and whatnot. The point being...I felt very uncomfortable.

It got worse. One day when I was walking up to the playhouse for class work, these random students just come by and yell at me to get my attention and they called me a name. It was dusk, and I wasn't sure if these were college kids or just middle/high school kids just picking on random people for fun. Then a few weeks later, it happened again! These kids drove up to me while I was walking to McDonalds, one reached out their hand to me as if they were going to give me something, and then they just drove off laughing. I have no idea what those kids were on or why they just decided to pick on me, but because of these incidents, I now have to keep an eye on every single car that passes me when I am walking around town doing my chores. That just further adds to my stress because to me, I can no longer trust anyone I do not know too well. I do have a lot of trustworthy friends up here, but the people I do not know greatly outnumber the ones that I do know.

Because of all this, my overall motivation to get classwork done started to sink. I do procrastinate to a degree, which I know is a personal problem of mine and I have to address, but this time, I didn't feel like doing the classwork at all. What I did get done was rather poor, and I ended up dropping one class, and failing another.

Christmas break came, and I was very excited to get out of this place Im forced to call "home", and I went back to my real home for a few weeks. I was able to get a room change for the next semester, but that required me to move up to the fourth floor of the dorm. It was away from the lobby though, so that was good to know. I was initially excited to get back up here and have another semester which hopefully would be better than the last one.

I now have been back here for nearly a month, and now, it appears that it won't be the case. For starters, I have an 8am class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It's a very interesting class to say the least, but when I show up, I'm sometimes not in the best of shape. The instructor was wanting to move it to Tuesday and Thursday evenings, but because only two people in the class have a job that would conflict with the schedule, he had to keep it M-W-F mornings. On top of that, I have two other classes on M-W-F, and these instructors up here are somewhat more demanding than the ones back at SGU. My morning class usually has an assignment that is usually due the next class period, only giving me less than 48 hours to get it done. So far though, the assignments have been fairly simple, but I have to work for other classes too, which would force me to learn time management. This is something I can fix on my own, but it requires more time to do so. But when you are feeling depressed because of being pressured by questionable people to be their friends, or be subjected to unwanted noise, it really takes away any motivation to do anything.

The new dorm room started out alright, like last semester, but the guys next door are into their First Person Shooter games. They have their TV up so loud the sound goes through the electrical outlet between the walls of the room, and on many nights I can hear their CoD game in my own room. The unwanted noise of gunfire really gets to me. I just want to spend time alone, in my room, without any noise or unwanted intrusions. I guess that will never happen in a place like this.

I have been thinking about dropping out of the college, and returning home before my birthday, perhaps as soon as this coming weekend. I have attended SGU before, and the classes there aren't as demanding as the ones at DSU. I have more leeway in getting my work done, which will allow me to finally get together some sort of time management system. On top of that, I will be at home, at a place where I feel comfortable. I will have family around to support me if something bad should happen.

If I do decide to go home, I will feel guilty. Guilty of abandoning my dream of graduating from DSU, and also guilty of accepting that student loan. But I think the positives will outweigh the negatives. I guess Im more suited in attending a community college rather than a state sponsored institution.

Do you think it would be a good decision to go back home where I can feel happy again?
I love foxes, especially the one in my avatar.
I think you need to do what works. You can still graduate from college, even if that particular university was not a good match.

Tonight, I saw a movie called Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. Why did someone write the book and why did someone make it into a movie? What were they thinking?

The movie stars a protagonist who is very difficult to like. Granted, he is only a preteen, though that still isn't an excuse for him to be so unlikable. He spends most of over two hours being very mean-spirited to everyone, and the movie is about his father's death in 9/11, his unwillingness to want to get to know people, how mean he is to his mother and everyone else, and lots of family trauma connected to his father and grandfather and his own lack of normalcy. In addition with being traumatized from the death of his father, the kid was extremely sensory sensitive - thus, the title - and was inconclusively tested for autism which was inaccurately described (as Asperger's "disease") in the movie.

Critics have written rude reviews about autistic people in writing reviews on the movie, like David Germain, who said, "You make allowances in life for people you encounter with autism, but spending two hours with a fictional character possessing autistic qualities can be grating."

No, spending two hours with a shallow fictional character whose writers think autism is what happens when you mix genius and hateful a-hole is grating. It also kept making me want to vomit and leave the theater, from the perspective of a parent, a mother, a wife, and an autistic person. Not a good combination in one viewer for this film.

Germain's train of thought is the problem with the movie that goes beyond how it personally shook me to tears over not wanting to die and not wanting to lose my husband. I mean, that could be just powerful directing. The film's main issue, and possibly the book's issue though I haven't read it, is that Oskar is giving people the impression that "putting up with" an autistic person for two hours is as terrible as watching this movie. How is that going to help anyone?

Gahhhhh. I bet David Germain could hang out with me for two years and not associate me with that movie. I wish autism would go back to obscurity.

I didn't know what the movie was about when I went to see it. I heard the main character was autistic and sensory-avoidant, so I expected something quirky and deep, not a movie where everyone traumatically cries and pulls apart for two hours. Less than an hour into the movie, I was expecting all the living characters to commit suicide.
Hmm, put this way, do what you think is best. Drop out of DSU and go back to SGU. Pick a course that is closest to what you've done in DSU, and continue on from there.

If a place is hostile to you, don't stay on.

As for me, I'm thinking about what will happen when my company sends me on a two month long business trip to India in a few months. I'll be in Mumbai, and, well, given what I've heard about the streets of India, I'm very afraid. Compounding to the issue is that I'll not have Spot to keep me company. Granted that I've worked out how to get Violette over with me, but nontheless bedtime gets very lonely without Spot by my side. I don't know if there's a way to sneak a giant plush Spot (and I do mean giant - it's a 4-feet-tall limited edition plush that is only available if you entered and won a Spot contest a few years ago- someone won it, but didn't want the plush, and tried to hawk it on eBay, when I happened upon it) in with me without getting into trouble or being branded a pedo or furry.
The Best Medicine > Magic. Because SCIENCE! can prove the former.
embarassing. I found out that you can actually apt-get install phpbb3 and Debian will install a preconfigured PHPBB for you, so the WGET and Links part is actually unnecessary Tongue

Yeah, at time of typing it's about 3 versions behind, but hey, things you do for convenience! Tongue

Total time this time - 20 minutes to get an empty board up (partially because Debian spoon-feeds you by doing all the database work for you). Outstanding.

Still, I'd prefer using the official phpBB packages. Being behind in versions is one thing, but having a version that deviates so much from the original intended config is another.
The Best Medicine > Magic. Because SCIENCE! can prove the former.
Sitting here listening to my husband ranting about the problems he has with one of the ladies who helps at our AWANA group (that being a Christian kids group). I have my gripes with her, too, but since she's the pastor's wife, there's not really anything we can do. His main gripe right now is that she wants us to have more kids in the program, even though the kids we do have are whizzing through the books at a rate we've never seen before. But last year when we had more kids, she wanted them all to be doing what these kids we have now are doing.
My main gripe with her is that she at first didn't want to have a lot of authority (or rather, she wanted to do as little as possible), but now she wants to do more, and is instantly assuming she has more authority than she really does, and since she's the pastor's wife (and did have more authority last year), our leader doesn't stand up to her at all. Which bleeds into my second main gripe with her, which is that she treats me with less authority than I deserve. She always does, no matter the venue, but this year, since she actively sought to have less authority at the start of the year, it bugs me even more, since I really do have more than her at this point in time, at least in AWANA.
And for another thing, she may be the pastor's wife, but she's only been that at this church for about five years now, I guess. Whereas I have been attending this particular church since I was three years old. Thus, she will never have the kind of authority in my mind that she thinks she does. I mean, I love her as a member of our church, but as an individual she rankles me something fierce.
I'm mostly annoyed because I've got a queue of youtube videos to watch, but because my husband is still ranting, I have to wait. And, to turn a phrase, he's preaching to the choir here.
[Image: sig_cherrystrawberry.png]
The more i think about it, the more it bothers me to the point where I don't feel like working and feel distressed and depressed...

The Best Medicine > Magic. Because SCIENCE! can prove the former.
Control freaks are scary individuals who are probably very insecure. Sorry, that's all I could think of to say.

I am having reconstructive surgery for the lower left chamber of my heart tomorrow. I'll be fine, though it will take time to recover from. Since I am no longer pregnant, the work against my heart failure really begins now.

Angel's remark from this past summer was still the best. "Your heart isn't a failure! It's a winner!"
Stella Grapes Wrote:I am having reconstructive surgery for the lower left chamber of my heart tomorrow. I'll be fine, though it will take time to recover from. Since I am no longer pregnant, the work against my heart failure really begins now.
Good luck and be safe. I'll be praying for you. Smile
[Image: TheGrapesChildrenSig.png]
The world is just stupid.

Don't mind me, depression fit in progress. Long story.
The Best Medicine > Magic. Because SCIENCE! can prove the former.

I can see why Narazeth claims that love hurts...
The Best Medicine > Magic. Because SCIENCE! can prove the former.
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